Been struggling to find a meme that adequately sums up the massive fuckuppery (is that a word? It should be a word! OED make it a word) that is this shambolic Government and Theresa Maybe’s Chequers Plan. Despite the fact that the EU says it won’t work, despite the need to now get 27 other countries to totally sign off on the plan with no amendments, Tess thinks she can force her cabinet into total agreement by the strength of her non-existent personality and self-belief in her popish infallibility.
And so the ministerial resignations begin. First, Dominic Raab the minister responsible for negotiating the plan walks out saying its unworkable. Next the Cruella de Ville of politics, Esther McVey drops a bombshell letter saying that she can no longer go on with these cruel and unnatural negotiations which are distracting her from squeezing yet more farthings from the poor and needy.
Now the Junior Secretary for Northern Ireland has quit, realising that she stands between the NI paramilitary and their principal target Mrs May if the border between the Irelands becomes more concrete, an ideal backstop against which to bowl hand grenades in the first innings of many to come.
Following her was Dominic Raab’s minion in the Brexit team in the sudden realisation that TM might call on him to lead the Brexit charge as the last man standing.
A couple of private secretaries followed the growing stampede, leaving an visible vacuum of talent in this catastrophe of a government.
Where does this leave la May? Many of her party feel she is beyond hope and are waiting for the vampire form of Jacob Rees Mogg to lead the assassin squad, taking tips from the Saudi Arabian corrections team on how to make it look like their leader attacked herself to death by simultaneously hanging and drowning herself.
The Johnson duo feel ideally positioned to help the country out of a crisis although Boris is so ridiculed on the Continent that he could hardly expect to be taken seriously. Dominic Raab may have chosen the perfect feng shui moment to distance himself from the poisonous principal as a possible contender while I expect David Davies spent his two years as Brexit minister planning and preparing for just such an opportunity to present himself as the nation’s saviour. Gove is still hunting for another back in which to sink his ‘supportive’ dagger other than that of his darling leader while Isaac is manoeuvering from his position of strength in the Foreign Office. And Rees Mogg? I suspect he has too much of the night about him and would not be surprised if his negotiating stance was to demand the return of Calais and Brittany to the Empire.
What we really need is….
Let’s wait and see…
Paddling 